


fuck the hets

by pajibach



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Highschool AU, M/M, angst makes me sad so there probably won’t be much of it, everyone loves the maknae, gay? gay, i might add other characters later (dream) depending on where i take this, im shit at tags forgive me, its mentioned tho that skz are friends with nct, jisung gets bullied 24/7, literally just crack, poly kids in your areaaa, pretty much every chat fic ever, we love happy fluff!!, woojin’s exasperated
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-08-23 00:04:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16608011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pajibach/pseuds/pajibach
Summary: confident gay: mayhaps.. i feel sorrydad™: i promise i wont clown you for a week :(seungmean: i sometimes dont hate you ?sun(g)shine: .....jin: That’s as close to an apology as you’ll ever get—————warning! this fic is hella self-indulgent and my destresser so updates will be wack and it’s probably not all that funny ://





	1. han jisung gets recked

**Author's Note:**

> woojin: jin (senior)  
> chan: dad™️ (senior)  
> minho: confident gay (junior)  
> changbin: baby (junior)  
> hyunjin: hyunnie (sophomore)  
> jisung: sun(g)shine (sophomore)  
> felix: fe fi fo (sophomore)  
> seungmin: seungmean (freshmen)  
> jeongin: beretinnie (freshman)

_  
3:24 pm_

_confident gay changed the chat name to "fuck the hets"_

 

sun(g)shine: ??

confident gay: straight ppl are SHIT and you cannot change my mind

dad™: hey hey the guy left. its ok

jin: What happened ?

confident gay: some fucker at the park started calling us names when he noticed me and chan were holding hands hngnnf

jin: Oh I'm sorry babe :((( that's really awful of him

sun(g)shine: i have some high qualith memes if you need some cheering up ;)

confident gay: qualith

dad™: qualith

seungmean: qualith

sun(g)shine: wtf i was trying to be NICE to u. no more memes ig

sun(g)shine: also where did minnie come from????

seungmean: i heard you were being bullied so i came to join in :))

confident gay: its like he has a sixth sense for bullying jisung

dad™: what's with the smiley face??

sun(g)shine: he gets pleasure out of my pain :((

jin: Dramatic

seungmean: :))))))))

confident gay: absolutely wild

sun(g)shine:

 

jin: Woah when'd you make Doyoung a meme??

seungmean: 

dad™: oh my gosh

confident gay:

sun(g)shine: u guys r mean :(((

sun(g)shine: also i was hanging out w jaemin on sat and doyoung ended up cominf along too

confident gay: cominf

seungmean: cominf

dad™: cominf

sun(g)shine: FUCK OFFKSJD

jin: You guys are impossible sjsj leave sungie alone 

sun(g)shine: i am now only dating one (1) boy

sun(g)shine: wait i take that back felix is also nice to me

sun(g)shine: so TWO (2) boys >:((

dad™: wAIT NO

jin: <33

confident gay: mayhaps... i feel sorry

dad™: i promise i won't clown you for a week :(

seungmean: i sometimes dont hate you ?

sun(g)shine: ........

jin: That's as close to an apology as you'll ever get

sun(g)shine: FINE FINE ill let u be my boyfs again

sun(g)shine: and im holdinf u to that promise channie

dad™: o h

confident gay: speaking of boyfriends where are the others?

seungmean: hyunjin said he and felix had to go meet up with someone for a group project

confident gay: gross

jin: Jeonginnie's here with me. He came over for help in math but ended up falling asleep

dad™: aww!

sun(g)shine: pic pls!

sun(g)shine: ya kno,,, for research purposes,,,

jin:

sun(g)shine: G ASP

seungmean: what is this feeing, so sudden, and new?

confident gay: gay

seungmean: thanks! i love it

sun(g)shine: hey what about binnie??

jin: I don't know. I haven't heard from him since we got out of school

sun(g)shine: :((((

dad™: he probably just forgot to turn on his ringer lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! this ch isn’t as good as i was still trying to figure out how to work out everything. i promise it gets better later sksjjs


	2. rawr means i love you in dinosaur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woojin: jin (senior)  
> chan: dad™️ (senior)  
> minho: confident gay (junior)  
> changbin: baby (junior)  
> hyunjin: hyunnie (sophomore)  
> jisung: sun(g)shine (sophomore)  
> felix: fe fi fo (sophomore)  
> seungmin: seungmean (freshmen)  
> jeongin: beretinnie (freshman)

_fuck the hets_

_5:06 pm_

hyunnie: GUYS

hyunnie: CHANGBIN DROPPED HIS PHONE IN THE TOILET

fe fi fo: SHUT UP THEY DONT NEED TO KNOW

hyunnie: you're literally using felix's phone to type dumbass

fe fi fo: hello darkness my old friend

sun(g)shine: YOUDI DNT DIEEEE

fe fi fo: you thought i died???

sun(g)shine: well yeah :(( u were quiet for so long in the gc

sun(g)shine: i missed uuu

fe fi fo: awe i misseHshhdsjjJDHDJDSJJ

fe fi fo: thats   gay

hyunnie: wtf is going on

hyunnie: i heard a scream come from the other room

fe fi fo: i pushed felix down the stairs bc he wouldn't stop taking the phone from me

dad™: am i the only one weirded out by their one sided conversation??

jin: Nope you're not alone

fe fi fo: NEways im gonna go check if my phone has fully dried out

fe fi fo: by losers

sun(g)shine: are u gonna eat the rice afterward or ,,

fe fi fo: i, felix, have regained my mortal throne and will eat the rice FOR changbin to prove my worth

dad™: yall nasty

sun(g)shine: just for u bby~ ;)

fe fi fo: Kinky

jin: lord save us all

hyunnie: jinnie didn't use caps yall fucked up now lmaooo

sun(g)shine: fucked, you say?

dad™: blease I beg of you

fe fi fo: then Beg

baby: keep your kinks Out Of This

baby: also hey my phone works now

sun(g)shine: !!!!!!!!

beretinnie: hey guys!

sun(g)shine: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hyunnie: its like a two for one deal

dad™: hey jeonginnie! how was your nap?

beretinnie: great! woojin makes a nice pillow (*´∀`*)

baby: cuteeee

fe fi fo: thats Love,,,, bitch

sun(g)shine: 

jin: <3

beretinnie: <333

sun(g)shine:

sun(g)shine: FUCK K

sun(g)shine: THATS NIT WHAUU I WANTEDNDJ

fe fi fo: WHEE Z E

dad™: disappointed, but not surprised

baby: wtf

jin: This is why I regret letting Jeongin join the group chat...

beretinnie: its ok ヾ(＾∇＾) ive already seen a lot weirder things

fe fi fo: he needs to be educated on only the highest of memes

sun(g)shine: exactyl

hyunnie: exactyl

baby: exactyl

dad™: exactyl

beretinnie: exactyl

fe fi fo: exactyl

sun(g)shine: WHY must u HURT me this WAY

sun(g)shine: and chan sweetie?

dad™: y-yes?

sun(g)shine: Unfriended, blocked, my mom's calling your mom and you're not invited to my Teen Queen Sweet Sixteen Summer Beach Bash birthday party

baby: did you just copy and paste that?

sun(g)shine: mayhaps,,,,

sun(g)shine: but thats NOT THE POINT

sun(g)shine: he promised he wouldnt clown me for a week yet Here He Is

dad™: I'M SORRY

sun(g)shine: srry no kisses for a week then

fe fi fo: oof

hyunnie: ouch

baby: yikes

beretinnie: lol

dad™: o h

jin: You're literally dating seven other people??

sun(g)shine: yeah but my kisses are the best ;)

baby: now THATS a fat fuckin lie

hyunnie: ouch x2

baby: its proven that jeongin gives the best kisses

beretinnie: i have braces though??

baby: yeah but youre soft n gentle

jin: Truth!

sun(g)shine: i mean,,, o k

sun(g)shine: thats valid

hyunnie: very Valid

hyunnie: speaking of which

hyunnie: come get ur kith :*

beretinnie: no you overly soggy string bean

hyunnie: ouch x3

fe fi fo: x3? owo xd kekeke!!!

dad™: Cursed,

jin: Bad

hyunnie: why

baby: begone thot

fe fi fo: i stil,,,, rawr u,, no matter,,, if u diswon me

baby: diswon

dad™: w hat

sun(g)shine: rawr means i love u in dinosar

baby: dinosar

fe fi fo: see jisung is clearly on the same wave length as me

sun(g)shine: i cant surf?? u know that

baby: sJKHDSJSJ

jin: Sungie, sweetie, that's not what that means,,,

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gay culture is capitalizing the first letter of random words All The Time and thats a fact 
> 
> also if u didn't understand the rice thing its that people stick their phones in bowls of rice to get the water out so ya  
> its a lifesaver trust me


	3. M-meow?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woojin: jin (senior)  
> chan: dad™️ (senior)  
> minho: confident gay (junior)  
> changbin: baby (junior)  
> hyunjin: hyunnie (sophomore)  
> jisung: sun(g)shine (sophomore)  
> felix: fe fi fo (sophomore)  
> seungmin: seungmean (freshmen)  
> jeongin: beretinnie (freshman)

_fuck the hets_

_1:16 am_

dad™: hey guys what kinda dog can climb a ladder?

beretinnie: hes got 4 feet he can climb 2 ladders!!

seungmean: what about a dog with 6 feet?

beretinnie: What Do You Think

dad™: THREE LADDERS

confident gay: wait what was the original answer?

dad™: wym

confident gay: yknow like the punchline? for the joke?

dad™: no? what joke?

confident gay: W AIT YOU ACTUALLY WANNA KNOW

seungmean: i wonder what channie's search history is like........

beretinnie: lemme look it up

confident gay: h ow

beretinnie: he left his acc signed in on my phone (´∀`)

dad™: wAIT

beretinnie: ????

beretinnie: CHAN???

beretinnie: CHAN!!!!!!!!!

confident gay: WHATS HAPPENING

beretinnie: he-

beretinnie:

seungmean: how to take care of a cat? chan you dont have one

dad™: about that..........

confident gay: ????

dad™: in MY defense the poor thing looked close to starvation :(( i had to take it in

confident gay: well what are you gonna call it?

dad™: you're awfully calm about this (side eye)

dad™: but i was thinking... nine? cause yknow,,,, there's nine of us

seungmean: you just thawed my cold, dead heart :'(

confident gay: shut up ur like the softest person i know

confident gay: but yeah thats hella sweet babe!!!

beretinnie: im gonna CRY

dad™: i'm glad you guys like it!!! you're going to love her!!!

_confident gay changed the chat name to "nine's tiddy bitch parents"_

seungmean: you literally just ruined the soft moment

dad™: WE'RE GONNA BE PARENTS

seungmean: nvm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> first off! hi sorry this update was slow. i went on a vacation a few weeks ago (which was great!) but now i'm extremely behind in homework so ive been hella busy trying to catch up :( the next update will also take a bit as now i have a rlly big essay due this week.
> 
> also! some of the quotes in the story are taken from several youtubers that i watch so you should check them out! (fitz, smii7y, mini ladd. pretty much the whole of misfits and bbs)
> 
> thank you so so much for the comments, kudos, and bookmarks!! i really appreciate it <3


	4. ATROCITIES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woojin: jin (senior)  
> chan: dad™️ (senior)  
> minho: confident gay (junior)  
> changbin: baby (junior)  
> hyunjin: hyunnie (sophomore)  
> jisung: sun(g)shine (sophomore)  
> felix: fe fi fo (sophomore)  
> seungmin: seungmean (freshmen)  
> jeongin: beretinnie (freshman)

_nine's tiddy bitch parents_

_7:15 am_

jin: Do I want to know the meaning behind the chat name,,,,

seungmean: no

beretinnie: yes

confident gay: maybe?

hyunnie: spill the tea, sis

seungmean: please never say that sentence ever again

beretinnie: CHANNIE GOT A CAT

confident gay: well a kitten to be exact but yeah

seungmean: he named it nine bc there's nine of us

confident gay: and we became parents, thus the title was born

beretinnie: how do u even know what thus means

hyunnie: awww he's a sweetheart uwu

jin: N-none of us have tiddies though

confident gay: Excuse me? You come into My house. Sit on My furniture. Eat My food. Sleep in My bed. And I say Nothing. Yet you have the Audacity. To insult my tiddies. Right to My face.

seungmean: what

hyunnie: w h a t

beretinnie: ,,,damn

jin: Jeongin.

beretinnie: .

beretinnie: ,,,damb

baby: i love you all soso much

baby: but could you kindly Shut The Fuck Up im trying to sleep

jin: School starts in 15 minutes

baby: FUCK

jin: :)

 

 

_1:47_

jin: Uh why is Felix giggling like crazy over there?

jin: Mr Younghyun doesn't look too happy

sun(g)shine:

confident gay: and this is why you're both failing geometry 

sun(g)shine: at least we r living our best life ;)

confident gay: what by being dumb? last i heard you had a D+

sun(g)shine: im trying!

confident gay: obviously not trying hard enough

sun(g)shine: .

_sun(g)shine logged off_

confident gay: shit

jin: Minho that was so unnecessary

jin: Apologize

confident gay: shit i'm sorry. i didn't.... i wasn't thinking 

jin: I know.... But please, go talk to him. You know he's sensitive about this

 

 

_Private chat with minho, jisung_

minho: fuck baby i'm so sorry

minho: i didn't mean that. you know i didn't 

minho: i've been really tired and stressed lately with dance and i accidentally let it out on you

minho: but that doesn't excuse what i did

minho: i know you struggle with math a lot but thats ok

minho: you're freakishly good in science which is hella impressive bc i don’t understand a single Damn thing. cells? who’s she?

minho: and you've always had a such a way with words??? when i read your writing i always get so overwhelmed by how much emotion and feeling you put into it. your lyrics are filled with such sincerity and love

minho: you put so much effort into everything you do. i know and everyone else knows you always do your best

minho: again, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to hurt you 

jisung: i

jisung: i believe you

jisung: but it still hurts .

minho: i know

minho: do you maybe wanna skip the last class? go home and cuddle? we can talk it out more

jisung: yeah id like that

minho: and jisung?

jisung: yeah?

minho: i love you

jisung: i love you too,,

minho: now come quickly so i can hold your hand

jisung: uwu

jisung: omw

 

 

_nine's tiddy bitch parents_

_2:03_

confident gay: me and jisung are gonna go home early btw

jin: Worked things out?

confident gay: yeah. we still need to talk some more though

jin: Ok! Don't get caught!

beretinnie: i didnt think id ever live to see woojin encouraging others to commit atrocities

confident gay: you're just jealous he doesn't let you do the same :*

beretinnie: >:((((

beretinnie: i demand equal rights!

jin: Maybe once you've reached senior year I'll consider it

beretinnie: HEY

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> multiple things!! (sorry these end notes keep getting longer oof)
> 
> (1) OKOK maybe i lied and decided to put a lil angst in there... i just wanted this fic to be a bit more realistic? ill add more of their personal life instead of just pure memes sjsjs
> 
> (2) the grades i added to the boys, the times, and classes aren't 100%. i pretty much guessed based on what i know from american schools. i also dont go to public school so like i only have a faint idea on how it works lmao. if something doesn't quite add up, sorry? as i said, this is more for fun then accuracy 
> 
> (3) if things seem different every chapter, its cause im trying to figure out the layout :// its my first time writing a chat fic so im seeing what looks best.. if you have any suggestions, let me know! i think i'll go back to the other chapters and get rid of the bold. i'm not a fan of it
> 
> one again, thank you for the kudos, comments, and bookmarks! ily guys uwu


	5. snowmen are overrated anyway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woojin: jin (senior)  
> chan: dad™️ (senior)  
> minho: confident gay (junior)  
> changbin: baby (junior)  
> hyunjin: hyunnie (sophomore)  
> jisung: sun(g)shine (sophomore)  
> felix: fe fi fo (sophomore)  
> seungmin: seungmean (freshmen)  
> jeongin: beretinnie (freshman)

_nine's tiddy bitch parents_

_5:21 pm_

fe fi fo: h

dad™: h

seungmean: h

confident gay: j

confident gay: oh fuck me

seungmean: i’d rather not

fe fi fo: f: pressed

fe fi fo: respects: paid

confident gay: dick: out

_seungmean removed confident gay_

fe fi fo: you are forcibly removed from the chat

dad™: let! minho! back! in!

seungmean: :///

_seungmean added confident gay_

confident gay: i’m here, i’m queer, and i thrive off fear

fe fi fo: im quaking in my loafers!

confident gay: OMW

fe fi fo: actually yeah could someone come visit?

dad™: what’s up?

fe fi fo: idk,,, feeling lonely

seungmean: let me just finish up this last assignment and then i can come!

fe fi fo: can we cuddle ?

seungmean: yes

fe fi fo: will u smother me with kisses ?

seungmean: yes

fe fi fo: AAAA

dad™: my boyfriends are so cute uwu

confident gay: am. In Love

fe fi fo: what about u guys?

dad™: maybe!! i promised my mum i’d do some last minute shopping for her but if i get time i’ll come

dad™: i wanna cuddle you too

confident gay: sorry lixie :(( my aunt and uncle are coming over for dinner

confident gay: i’d MUCH rather be with you but as my mom likes to say ,,, “family first! :)”

seungmean: does she say smile emoji?

confident gay: in an attempt to sound cool, yes

dad™: wow

fe fi fo: terrible

seungmean: yike

dad™: *yikes

seungmean: **yike

seungmean: this situation is only worth one of my yikes

seungmean: anyways i finished

seungmean: beep beep mf i’m on my way to give you all of my love and affection

confident gay: i always knew you were a low class sewer clown

dad™: minho stop bullying others challenge failed

seungmean: you dare disrespect pennywise in my home? the highest of all clowns? the god of the underworld? the only one there for me in my lowest moments?

confident gay: yes bitch

seungmean: i will shred your shoes

fe fi fo: ladies ladies please calm down. i know i'm irresistible but that doesn't mean you need to fight for my love

dad™: am i the only sane person in this god forsaken chat?

confident gay: you share half a braincell with jeongin

seungmean: correct

beretinnie: GAYS

seungmean: speak of the devil and he shall appear

dad™: hi baby!

beretinnie: HELLO

beretinnie: I AM EXCITED

beretinnie: ITS WINTER BREAK

beretinnie: AND ITS SNOWING OUTSIDE

beretinnie: AND I HAVE HOT COCOA

beretinnie: I LOVE WINTER

fe fi fo: wait its actually snowinG??

beretinnie: its been snowing for several hours

beretinnie: do any of you even know what outside is

confident gay: bold of you to assume i know anything

fe fi fo: can we go outside in the snow when you get here minnie?

seungmean: .....

fe fi fo: please?? pretty pretty please? ill make us hot cocoa later ;;

dad™: i can picture his puppy eyes rn and my heart HURTS

seungmean: FINE fine

confident gay: now I’m jealous...

confident gay: build a snow dick for me :*

dad™: no

confident gay: two snow dicks?

dad™: nO

fe fi fo: aye aye captain!

dad™: NO

beretinnie: i regret ever saying anything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so this was supposed to be posted like,, two weeks ago but life got busy and i kinda forgot.. sorry 
> 
> also if you like nct dream, i posted a lil cherenmark oneshot a few days ago uwu https://archiveofourown.org/works/17318399


End file.
